2008-2010: The Time of the Stone
We left off at about September of 2008, when I had honestly believed I had formulated the Philosopher's Stone from at least a personal and spiritual standpoint. Various things that I had wanted to return were returning. Things requiring change were changing. Let us recap for a bit.
July - Left Wal-Mart hopefully for good and was offered a tech job in Downtown Fayetteville.
August - Settling in with said tech job and learning the ropes. I quickly saw that my skills, my foundation, was shaky after being outside the box, even with the college training I had 4 years prior.
September - The waters returned to Hope Mills Lake and it felt as if the energies were in balance once more. Pagan shops sprang up like wildflowers to oppose the "Dark One's" store, and all of them in the same Flea Market. Raven began working with a store owned by the one called Rune in the previous chapter. We also got involved with more local pagans through Silver Stars and a newcomer store (Talisen). I felt a strong connection with the owner of the newer store and even joined her meetup group. Sadly, once again all was not as it appeared.
As time went on, while good things were starting and I could see the alchemical reactions forming, something inside told me that something was wrong. The foundation of the Stone's formulation was based on shaky physics and dodgy theory and more importantly inexperience. Things were not as they appeared and soon the reaction that started began to crumble.
October 2008
The market crash that lead to the Great Recession begins. As a result, many companies that had over-hired for new projects, including mine, let people go. The reason I was given was that I was not exactly what they wanted and I was incompetent for the job assigned. Bull! Since Sept, I was beginning to question the legitimacy of the company and of its owner. I mean what kind of an idiot has you fill out required paperwork to see just exactly what assets you own? Apparently I had nothing he wanted and he let me go. In retrospect it was a good idea to leave that job. At the time however, I thought I had created a false Stone and everything was falling apart at the seams. I was beginning to panic and regret even attempting the experiment. But what I did not see at the time was that the Stone was still transmuting my life in subtle ways, showing me what needed to be shown. It was through working at that Tech company downtown that a co-worker would give me a job lead. One that would give me the foundation I needed.
November 2008 - Enter the Jones Boys
In the middle of November, about 3 weeks into my unemployment, so short as to not have even claimed a cent of it, I was offered a position by Mr. Jones at his Real Estate company. The work was pretty much the same as it was for the other company, but for a smaller company that was family owned. It was shaky at first, but I began to expand my knowledge of PHP and Javascript. Mr. Jones was quite particular and a perfectionist and yes I would screw up every now and then, but for some reason known only to him, he never fired me. This was a great boost to my confidence and I would learn more as time went on. I would learn so much from Josh, my co-worker and all the little tricks behind coding. It was not a perfect situation and there would be ups and downs, but I think the 2 1/2 years I worked with them was the best experience I could have asked for.
2009 The Rebirth of an Alchemist
If 2007 was the Black Phase, in which the operation begins by removing the dark matter within, then 2008 was the White Phase wherein I was being lifted rather quickly to the realms above. Indeed it did feel very euphoric. That is until the transmutation began to move into the Red phase and that would sum up 2009. The Red Phase is reintegration. That which was false was seen for what it was and laid to the wayside. I would then reintegrate that which was true within me once more.
Early that year I would continue to work with the Jones' and see a new President inaugurated. We would then be moving to a smaller office to cut corners. Every day with that company I knew could be my last, since it was Real Estate after all. I learned how tenacious Mr. Jones can be.
Raven and I would be invited to the wiccan circle on post at Ft. Bragg. It was the first major pagan community since Florida we were associated with. It was also our first time ever on a military base. I would continue the networking of military people through my gaming activities at the Hobbit. Soon I was visiting with people on base like it was another town. I even did a class on basic alchemy for them. It was awesome!
The base on circle was good, but not exactly what we were looking for, as time went on we found that gas was getting more expensive and we started to look for closer alternatives. It would not be until after Dark Rune pulled his shop out that Raven would join with another.
Oh yes! The shops that sprang up last year would change or completely disappear in 2009, once again thanks to the crash of '08. Actually, I saw some of the magickal warfare that was going on, while leaving myself out of it. The "Dark One" and the "New One" went at it. But the new one did not have a strong foundation and soon her shop was closed all the time. She did people wrong and soon that shop, the largest ever in that flea market, would disappear. Mind you, I was beginning to question the owner as she considered me a newbie to magick. Of course I never did show anyone at that time what I had done and what I had been doing.
Soon only the Dark One and Silver Stars remained. But then another shop would come by. Silver Sisters moved in shortly after Talisen's shop left and then soon Dark Alcove would leave. The original owner of Silver Stars eventually left due to personal issues and left the shop to the co-owner, who would then become part of our new coven.
Late in the year Raven would join up with Silver Stars for doing card readings and consignments. The owner and her daughter combined with Raven and I formed a new "group". First it was a pagan meetup group at the coffee shop, eventually the inner circle became a new coven. Come to find out most of the members that joined in this coven were once part of the original Silver Star's owner's group back in the day. Once again Raven had picked up strays. I tried to get other people in the group as well, but sadly they ended up being "incompatible". I decided to let Raven handle it and became contempt to stand in the sidelines. However my guided meditations became a hit with the group. There was a bit of a squabble that ended in people not liking each other and with me thrown in the middle of it. In the end, those two stopped showing up entirely and it was quite frankly better for all concerned. I was not getting into yet another witch-war. I have bigger and better fish to fry now. This "incident" happened right around the holidays and would trickle into the 2010 year.
For a while we were having meetups at a coffee house called Xtasy Ice Cafe. The most awesome shop I knew. Once a month we would hold a "stitch and bitch" to generally combat the one the "J-dites" had. It would be through this that I would meet Faerybliss, daughter of some witches that have been around this town for years. And though her would I cross paths with someone I had not seen in 14 years. But before all that, Raven would fall ill.
2010 - Year of Changes both Great and Terrible.
April 2010
The same date that the oil rig in the Gulf exploded and gushed millions of gallons of crude into the water, Raven would fall ill and be sent to the hospital. She had been coughing quite a bit since the winter and we thought she had walking pneumonia exacerbated by her smoking. Sadly we found out that she had a heart condition. Congestive Heart Failure, although they called it "mild". Needless to say I was devastated by this. Once again I was put into a relationship with someone who was chronically ill. Of course Raven took it all in stride while I was the once freaking out. I had a feeling that this may have not been a natural occurrence. Why would she just get hit with heart failure like that? I had to look into the aether once more and make absolutely sure.
I hate it when I am right...
Raven was hit magickaly. Somehow someone had used her great heart against her. I had a number of suspects, but it didn't matter. Each one of them would feel retribution, and by 2011, they all did, but that story is to come up later.
As I said, I could feel that Raven was hit by a magickal attack. I did what I knew would help, based on alchemy and hermetic science. I help speed her recovery and so did the many hearts that Raven had touched before this began. A shining field of love enveloped her and everyone who visited her in the hospital could see it. She even looked like she did before she went in. I truly believed she was cured. Yes, my Raven was cured of the magickal ills, but the damage to her body would be permanent. I felt as if I lost part of her that day. Now she can never become the golden one, as the transition into that level of reality may become too great for her body to cope with now. The shock of that level of transmutation would definitely kill her, or so that is how I believe it to be. Nevermind the "lifestyle changes" she had to make for her heart. When did we become old?
Life continued in 2010. Raven survives, I continued to do my work with the Jones' and the coven continued to grow. It was almost like it was back home. And then I would meet someone from my past. Bri.
I knew Bri since I was living with Raven's cousin. She was only a teen in those days. We met at the Xtasy Cafe during one of our meetups and I just had to ask since I saw her FB profile, if she was the one who ran the Vampire LARP back at Crane's Roost in 1996. Sure enough, it was her.
Through Bri I reconnected with my past, but also bolstered my future. Bri lives on the property of a wealthy, tho eccentric, matron of the town who has various pagan evens on the property. My father had managed to attend one of these gatherings back in '07. Now it was my turn to experience this and also add more persons in the local community to my network. it was on her birthday that I got to go to the property for the first time. It was awesome, even if it wasn't a pagan gathering.
Enter the Masons
In May of 2010 I received an email via witchvox. The mail simply stated that the sender represented a small group of a half dozen men who get together and have a dinner once a month and discuss various esoteric subjects. He saw my profile on wtichvox and thought if I would like to be their guest speaker. In no way did he ever imply in the message who or what he was, but somehow I knew that it had to be from an esoteric order. I even had a memory in my subconscious that swears I've seen a group like this mentioned on witchvox. Could it have been a precognition? What had the Stone done this time? Have this order finally found me? Are they Masons? Yes. I suspected they were Freemasons even before I found out. In my mind as I read the email I was saying that "they have found me." Imagine my astonishment when I did a Google look-up on the guy who emailed me and found out he was indeed a Mason, and from the same lodge I had walked past a dozen times before downtown. Truly this had to be the work of the Stone.
I met with the man at the local coffee shop, the very same one in which the "Dark One" held her little gatherings and on the same evening. Yes she was there, but we ignored each other, or I at least her. As I met with the man he told me that all they wanted was someone to talk about alchemy and other esoterica over diner which would be at a fine dining restaurant, their treat. I was overwhelmed by this. I had never, ever been approached as an "expert" in anything before. Other than from witchvox, how else could this man even know about me. Was this the work of the Philosopher's Stone? For I had only done one class on alchemy before and that was on post. Had my reputation preceded me? There was no logical way. I never announced or proclaimed my skill that greatly. Perhaps I was overreacting at the time.
The dinner was very nice and while I felt intimidated at first, I opened up little by little. I had the first 3 chapters of my written alchemy lessons from when I was still in Florida, and years before the Stone experiment. But I forgot that I had mentioned Freemasonry in those notes, specifically about the corn, oil, and wine (the wages of a Freemason) being related to the philosophic salt, sulfur, and mercury. It was this kind of thing they were looking for, someone to show them what the symbols meant, for apparently there are those who want to bring that understanding back to the order. I was honored to be in the presence of like minds that night, and while they were quick to point out that this was not a Masonic event of any kind and they were not allowed to "recruit", I began to debate within myself if I wanted to be a part of that order. "What could I learn from them? What keys do they hold? These guys are based in alchemy, but most don't even know it! Would I benefit? Could I exchange my knowledge?" Many such thoughts ran through my head.
For the remainder of the summer, the thoughts of the masons and the dinner ran through my head. I was contacted by the man who set up the dinner sometime before October. At that time I believe I and Raven had just been to our first event on the property I mentioned earlier, thanks to Bri. things were looking up, finally. We were planning a major event for Samhain at our house and I had invited the man who invited me to that dinner, her invited two more from his order. That was it. I needed no more convincing. I was going to ask to be a Mason on Samhain.
Samhain 2010 was impressive. Raven managed to be part of the first ever Zombie walk. We went to a Halloween party, the first time in 4 years. and we had our coven open Samhain, must have had 15+ people, including representatives of both Silver Stars and Silver Sisters. It was a blast. It was on that night after everything that I "asked 1 2b 1". The petition was done in November and then began the lengthy process of waiting for it to be announced to the lodge, me being interviewed and reviewed and then voted on. This entire thing would continue into the next year. Oh the hopes and the fears. The thoughts of being with people of like mind and the possibilities.
To be continued in 2011 - The Year of Weirdness
Monday, April 23, 2012
Introducing Arcanus Tempestas Greywolf - Part the Fourth
Middle 2000s - Quest for the Philosopher's Stone
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth."
- Alphonse Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist
In the middle 2000s, I became quite an anime nut thanks to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, and of course Wolf's Rain. Wolves who could do a form a glamor and appear as humans? Anime rocks.
But in 2004 anime wasn't the only weird stuff that I was watching. That year I saw 3 hurricanes criss-cross the state of Florida, and I danced in the eye of one. My sensei Bob, who had just broken up with his lady, ended up becoming a roommate of Me, my Wife and Roy. He challenged me to go in the middle of the storm and truly feel it. I did as he asked. I went out into the stinging rain and truly went to feel the storm. I opened up myself to it and went into the meta-state of a clear mind. I felt a fury even more intense than a full therian mental shift. The absolute fury, the power, the knowledge of existing simply to exist. You are a force of nature, no mind, no worries of economics, politics, or hunger. You simply exist and ride the fluid that is the atmosphere. THIS was the burning rage I felt within. The wolf was but one aspect of myself, the storm was another. Rage without, and the calm quiet within. I was then Arcanus TEMPESTAS Greywolf. The Wolf of Storms!
The middle 2000s saw me become more attune with my inner power. Knowing what a thing is is the first step in learning how to manipulate, or transmute it. I was already into alchemy before the best anime ever caught my eye. That of course was Fullmetal Alchemist. These guys really did their homework on this. It is a fanciful tale of a world where alchemy is a real science. Alchemists actually do read the code of an object, break it down and reform it, and simply by drawing a transmutation circle about it, which look very much like sigils and seals from Solomon's Grimoires. Anyway I encourage people to go out and see it for themselves. Good story, and like all stories, one with a lesson. A lesson that would even affect a 30-something year old werewolf-magickian.
2005 - September We move to Eustis and shortly afterwards the worst hurricane in history hits New Orleans. Katrina. Having experienced the 2004 hurricanes I could feel what Katrina was doing and the fact came over me that this storm was not natural. As a matter of fact I felt that the 2004 hurricanes and even the Tsunami were not natural as well. Someone was fraking with magick was what came out of my mouth. I know many would say I'm insane or event that I'm just reading too many conspiracy theories but think about it. I've be at this thing since my teens and I understand how magick, alchemy, whatever you want to call it, works. A terrible thought had crossed my mind. If you had a power that nobody could trace back to you, that nobody would believe is humanly possible, would you use that as a weapon. My distrust of humanity told me yes, they would. Now what if a terrorist had that ability? Now what if our own GOVERNMENT had that ability. We all know that remote viewing was a real applied science used in secret spying. Who's to say there haven't been agencies researching magick or psionics? We know this stuff has been going on since WWII. Who's to say? Indeed.
In any case I felt something was drastically wrong with the earth and that humanity was tapping into something they had no business tapping into. This could only spell disaster.
2006 - We leave the old coven behind. The fractured coven of 2004 actually got back together and reformed itself like the Phoenix. Mostly because they did it without me. I was so proud of those who remained and made it work. But we decided that it was time for a change, we moved to North Carolina. The reason? I thought I could find other therians and complete my search for the Stone there.
Fayetteville. November 2006. We find one small shop in the Flea Market. It seemed all well and good, but there was something wrong about it. I was no stranger to the dark side and knew it well so it did not affect me. At first we thought it was the only thing, so we stayed with it. I will admit, there was something oddly familiar about it, something from my past...
At Wal-Mart I knew someone for some time and never knew she was connected to the pagan community, until I did a search and found an old meetup group. She was on it. I emailed her and we talked the next day at work. She herself was not a witch or pagan, but her boyfriend was. This is when I got involved with Rune of the Dark Alcove. We met at the old Cross Creek mall and it was like we knew each other immediately. So much in common. While I have felt rage and pain, it was nothing to what I could sense in Rune. He was betrayed and hurt in a way I have never experienced. He reminded me a bit of old Bob. He then told me that the people at the shop we were going were not what they appeared, in fact they were necromancers and dark arts practitioners. A wave of rage came over me. I had nearly been fooled again. Nearly brought into a dark web of deceit and lies and betrayal. But still I was now caught again in another damned fight, but this time I launched a pre-emptive magickal strike of my own. I did my "Sever the Black Tendrils" ritual and had my wolves track down the source. What I discovered was something more powerful than I ever experienced. No less than 13 individuals were involved in the binding. The tendrils would come back like cutting the heads off of a hydra, the wolf was not enough, I had to show them what real power was. I had to become the storm.
BOOM!
Yes I got rid of the nasties, but there is a reason why I posted that bit about equivalent exchange at the beginning. You see I paid a price. That price was loosing my car. For 9 months I had to bum rides to work or walk. An experience I do not wish to repeat. That was most of 2007. Yes I know it may well have been my stupidity in not preparing for the worst and having my car serviced and maintained properly and nothing magickal, but you never know with things like this. In any case I know my cousin and her husband and father-in-law are on Myspace and I only want to thank them for helping me through a rough time and putting up with me when I was without a vehicle.
All this time I was still pursuing alchemy. Reading up on astrology, the permutations of the Name of God "YHVH" and finding out that not only could you evoke elements and planetary forces, but the astrological signs were in fact Alchemic Processes! The permutations of YHVH were the key to unlocking that power. At last! I had the key to deciphering alchemy. Astrology, Kabalah, Golden Dawn ritual and everything I had ever learned about magick an the occult finally were coming all together, the prices finally fit!
Sadly in April of this year, I would say goodby to my old master. The one who first made me aware of what and who I truly am. Robert James Rush. May he party with Bacchus as he always did.
Brother Dark Rune helped me to obtain a vehicle in 2008, it was the beginning of recovery for me. My alchemy knowledge was growing day by day. In May of this year, during a Mercury Retrograde, I performed a ritual which was intended to "Capture the Volitile". At about the same time, my counterpart created a planetary talisman. What we did was truly significant.
"The Philosophers' Stone: those who possess it, no longer bound by the laws of Equivalent Exchange in Alchemy, may gain without sacrifice, create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it." - Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Upon finding the Philosopher's Stone
I truly believe these events in some way helped to create a Philosopher's Stone. Not a physical red dtone that grants eternal life, but a spiritual awakening and what is more, all that I have quested for, all that which was lost due to folly and deceit, all that what once was mine has returned.
July 2008 - I regained a tech job and left Wal-Mart for good.
August 2008 - We have found the true pagan community and have involved ourselves in it. What is more, I am gaming again and with Traveller.
September 2008
The waters have returned to Hope Mills Lake
The dark cloud that has been over this town for so long is lifting
More Pagan stores have opened in the Flea Market
Now I am not as egotistical or foolish enough to think I was the only hand in all the change that had happened, that's just plain silly. But I may have done something at the right time. Perhaps that negative cloud was rising before I performed my ritual and that was just enough for it to come through the astral.
There is a big however though. What I have gained may not be exactly what I had before. The job I received is not the IIA. I am monitored closely and have to deal with 8 others in an open room with me so everyone can see what the other is doing. We are a team and we work for someone else, just like Wal-Mart so what I have a fusion of the old and new, how very alchemical. But as any good alchemist you make due with what you have and transmute it to your needs. As a result, I have taken steps never to have a car break down again, I managed to secure a card so I can use that for emergencies. Never before have I thought I could have credit, now I do. I take this as a partial victory.
Still I understand the nature of the Philosopher's Stone and know what true power is. The sun is a manifestation of the Stone, transmuting hydrogen into helium and energy. In turn that gets transmuted into many other elements and great energy. How many stars are there in the galaxy, the universe? That energy permeates everything in the universe, molds it, shapes it, and transmutes it. THAT is POWER!
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth. But the world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete. Equivalent Exchange doesn't encompass everything that goes on here, but I still choose to believe in its principle: that all things do come at a price, that there's an ebb and a flow, a cycle, that the pain we went through did have a reward, and that anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something of value in return, even if it's not what they expected."
- Alphonse Elric, at the end of the Fullmetal Alchemist series
And there is the lesson that was learned. 30 years of going though it, still going through it, still learning, still doing.
But now I understand. Better to have learned the lesson in 30 years, than to have not learned it at all.
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth."
- Alphonse Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist
In the middle 2000s, I became quite an anime nut thanks to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, and of course Wolf's Rain. Wolves who could do a form a glamor and appear as humans? Anime rocks.
But in 2004 anime wasn't the only weird stuff that I was watching. That year I saw 3 hurricanes criss-cross the state of Florida, and I danced in the eye of one. My sensei Bob, who had just broken up with his lady, ended up becoming a roommate of Me, my Wife and Roy. He challenged me to go in the middle of the storm and truly feel it. I did as he asked. I went out into the stinging rain and truly went to feel the storm. I opened up myself to it and went into the meta-state of a clear mind. I felt a fury even more intense than a full therian mental shift. The absolute fury, the power, the knowledge of existing simply to exist. You are a force of nature, no mind, no worries of economics, politics, or hunger. You simply exist and ride the fluid that is the atmosphere. THIS was the burning rage I felt within. The wolf was but one aspect of myself, the storm was another. Rage without, and the calm quiet within. I was then Arcanus TEMPESTAS Greywolf. The Wolf of Storms!
The middle 2000s saw me become more attune with my inner power. Knowing what a thing is is the first step in learning how to manipulate, or transmute it. I was already into alchemy before the best anime ever caught my eye. That of course was Fullmetal Alchemist. These guys really did their homework on this. It is a fanciful tale of a world where alchemy is a real science. Alchemists actually do read the code of an object, break it down and reform it, and simply by drawing a transmutation circle about it, which look very much like sigils and seals from Solomon's Grimoires. Anyway I encourage people to go out and see it for themselves. Good story, and like all stories, one with a lesson. A lesson that would even affect a 30-something year old werewolf-magickian.
2005 - September We move to Eustis and shortly afterwards the worst hurricane in history hits New Orleans. Katrina. Having experienced the 2004 hurricanes I could feel what Katrina was doing and the fact came over me that this storm was not natural. As a matter of fact I felt that the 2004 hurricanes and even the Tsunami were not natural as well. Someone was fraking with magick was what came out of my mouth. I know many would say I'm insane or event that I'm just reading too many conspiracy theories but think about it. I've be at this thing since my teens and I understand how magick, alchemy, whatever you want to call it, works. A terrible thought had crossed my mind. If you had a power that nobody could trace back to you, that nobody would believe is humanly possible, would you use that as a weapon. My distrust of humanity told me yes, they would. Now what if a terrorist had that ability? Now what if our own GOVERNMENT had that ability. We all know that remote viewing was a real applied science used in secret spying. Who's to say there haven't been agencies researching magick or psionics? We know this stuff has been going on since WWII. Who's to say? Indeed.
In any case I felt something was drastically wrong with the earth and that humanity was tapping into something they had no business tapping into. This could only spell disaster.
2006 - We leave the old coven behind. The fractured coven of 2004 actually got back together and reformed itself like the Phoenix. Mostly because they did it without me. I was so proud of those who remained and made it work. But we decided that it was time for a change, we moved to North Carolina. The reason? I thought I could find other therians and complete my search for the Stone there.
Fayetteville. November 2006. We find one small shop in the Flea Market. It seemed all well and good, but there was something wrong about it. I was no stranger to the dark side and knew it well so it did not affect me. At first we thought it was the only thing, so we stayed with it. I will admit, there was something oddly familiar about it, something from my past...
At Wal-Mart I knew someone for some time and never knew she was connected to the pagan community, until I did a search and found an old meetup group. She was on it. I emailed her and we talked the next day at work. She herself was not a witch or pagan, but her boyfriend was. This is when I got involved with Rune of the Dark Alcove. We met at the old Cross Creek mall and it was like we knew each other immediately. So much in common. While I have felt rage and pain, it was nothing to what I could sense in Rune. He was betrayed and hurt in a way I have never experienced. He reminded me a bit of old Bob. He then told me that the people at the shop we were going were not what they appeared, in fact they were necromancers and dark arts practitioners. A wave of rage came over me. I had nearly been fooled again. Nearly brought into a dark web of deceit and lies and betrayal. But still I was now caught again in another damned fight, but this time I launched a pre-emptive magickal strike of my own. I did my "Sever the Black Tendrils" ritual and had my wolves track down the source. What I discovered was something more powerful than I ever experienced. No less than 13 individuals were involved in the binding. The tendrils would come back like cutting the heads off of a hydra, the wolf was not enough, I had to show them what real power was. I had to become the storm.
BOOM!
Yes I got rid of the nasties, but there is a reason why I posted that bit about equivalent exchange at the beginning. You see I paid a price. That price was loosing my car. For 9 months I had to bum rides to work or walk. An experience I do not wish to repeat. That was most of 2007. Yes I know it may well have been my stupidity in not preparing for the worst and having my car serviced and maintained properly and nothing magickal, but you never know with things like this. In any case I know my cousin and her husband and father-in-law are on Myspace and I only want to thank them for helping me through a rough time and putting up with me when I was without a vehicle.
All this time I was still pursuing alchemy. Reading up on astrology, the permutations of the Name of God "YHVH" and finding out that not only could you evoke elements and planetary forces, but the astrological signs were in fact Alchemic Processes! The permutations of YHVH were the key to unlocking that power. At last! I had the key to deciphering alchemy. Astrology, Kabalah, Golden Dawn ritual and everything I had ever learned about magick an the occult finally were coming all together, the prices finally fit!
Sadly in April of this year, I would say goodby to my old master. The one who first made me aware of what and who I truly am. Robert James Rush. May he party with Bacchus as he always did.
Brother Dark Rune helped me to obtain a vehicle in 2008, it was the beginning of recovery for me. My alchemy knowledge was growing day by day. In May of this year, during a Mercury Retrograde, I performed a ritual which was intended to "Capture the Volitile". At about the same time, my counterpart created a planetary talisman. What we did was truly significant.
"The Philosophers' Stone: those who possess it, no longer bound by the laws of Equivalent Exchange in Alchemy, may gain without sacrifice, create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it." - Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Upon finding the Philosopher's Stone
I truly believe these events in some way helped to create a Philosopher's Stone. Not a physical red dtone that grants eternal life, but a spiritual awakening and what is more, all that I have quested for, all that which was lost due to folly and deceit, all that what once was mine has returned.
July 2008 - I regained a tech job and left Wal-Mart for good.
August 2008 - We have found the true pagan community and have involved ourselves in it. What is more, I am gaming again and with Traveller.
September 2008
The waters have returned to Hope Mills Lake
The dark cloud that has been over this town for so long is lifting
More Pagan stores have opened in the Flea Market
Now I am not as egotistical or foolish enough to think I was the only hand in all the change that had happened, that's just plain silly. But I may have done something at the right time. Perhaps that negative cloud was rising before I performed my ritual and that was just enough for it to come through the astral.
There is a big however though. What I have gained may not be exactly what I had before. The job I received is not the IIA. I am monitored closely and have to deal with 8 others in an open room with me so everyone can see what the other is doing. We are a team and we work for someone else, just like Wal-Mart so what I have a fusion of the old and new, how very alchemical. But as any good alchemist you make due with what you have and transmute it to your needs. As a result, I have taken steps never to have a car break down again, I managed to secure a card so I can use that for emergencies. Never before have I thought I could have credit, now I do. I take this as a partial victory.
Still I understand the nature of the Philosopher's Stone and know what true power is. The sun is a manifestation of the Stone, transmuting hydrogen into helium and energy. In turn that gets transmuted into many other elements and great energy. How many stars are there in the galaxy, the universe? That energy permeates everything in the universe, molds it, shapes it, and transmutes it. THAT is POWER!
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth. But the world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete. Equivalent Exchange doesn't encompass everything that goes on here, but I still choose to believe in its principle: that all things do come at a price, that there's an ebb and a flow, a cycle, that the pain we went through did have a reward, and that anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something of value in return, even if it's not what they expected."
- Alphonse Elric, at the end of the Fullmetal Alchemist series
And there is the lesson that was learned. 30 years of going though it, still going through it, still learning, still doing.
But now I understand. Better to have learned the lesson in 30 years, than to have not learned it at all.
Introducing Arcanus Tempestas Greywolf - Part the Third
The new millennium...
The year 2000 was a continuation of the joy of 1999. I got to travel and see the Grand Canyon. I went from a solitary to group practitioner by way of an Orlando pagan group. I still thought I had it made. I then made some foolish decisions. I tried to help people again and get involved in things I should have left alone. I became very good at the lesser banishing ritual and thought I could banish any negative force. I thought I could help people by doing ritual cleansings and banishing. I got involved with a couple who were not what they appeared to be. I also got involved in a wiccan group who on the surface seemed okay but had elements of the previous SCA witch was in it. I knew the people involved and thought the war was settled between Bob and this other witch that I didn't even think twice about it, I was over it by this time. Apparently the combination of this witch who was chastised legally by my master and the wrong choices would add up. Everything came to head in March of 2001 when I dared experiment with Chronomancy. That's right kids, uncle Arcanus played with time magick. Believe this to be codswallop if you wish, but I did go through with this magickal experiment, that much is true.
The ritual was simple. Create a circle of charged quartz crystal around me and intone the proper date astrologically. The effect was to be similar to the 'Quantum Leap' effect where I would astrally travel back in time to my past self. Part of this was due to the fact that I believed that the 'voice' and the deja-vu experiences were in fact due to myself doing this particular type of magick in the future. I felt I was magickaly experienced and knowledgeable enough to tackle something of this magnitude. I was wrong.
My equations were perfect. I had everything lined up correctly. The banishing rituals on the elemental and planetary scale were enacted. I even made sure I wrote notes in case there was temporary amnesia. Everything seemed perfect. At the time of the casting, everything was perfect. When I came out of the astral time-votrex everything seemed right, but I felt younger, and a bit confused. There was that amnesia effect I was expecting. I then thought that I may have switched places with my younger self, indeed I had. This was the law of exchange in action. While me age 30 was in the body of me age 16, age 16 me was displaced in my age 30 body. Even after the ritual and we were back where we needed to be, it was incomplete pieces of my 30 year old self were stuck back in 1986 and vice-versa, eventually all would straighten itself out, but not in time. This is where I seriously fraked up magickaly. Work became confusing due to having to retrieve memories. I did not take things a seriously as an adult would have. I am still not sure if this was the cause of me loosing the best job I ever had, nonetheless I did loose it.
After loosing my tech job that paid 35K a year, and the fact that I was only a month away from full vestiture of my 401K really torqued me off. The young kid that was still in me disappeared, and the angry dark wolf came back to the surface. I would stay in my room and not do a damned thing except to call the state and let them know I was still looking for a job so I could collect unemployment. 6 months later I would be contacted by a Wiccan coven.
Sept 2001. I would hook up with the Moon Children of the Earth coven, led by Crystal Moon a 3rd degree wiccan High Priestess who was only a bit younger than me. The first meeting was general an Esbat and get together and everything seemed cool. I really liked this group and I felt at home in this, my first coven. Me and Crystal have the same ideas on teaching, book knowledge types. She knew I was without job and helped me to find one. Then next week happened...
9-11-01
A date that will live in infamy as much as 12-7-41 did before. Those towers falling only enraged me more than seeing the plane crash into them. I could not hold back the shift, the rage was too intense. I had to run to the backyard and howl. I knew this was it, we were going to be at war, I just knew it. This may be Raganarok or whatever you want to call it. The following weekend we went back to the coven-stead to talk about the 9-11 attacks. When it came my turn to share, I freaked out everyone. Last week where there was a happy puppy about to learn new stuff in a group, there now sat a dark and fearsome beast. I was in full shift, and far from happy. "To you sons of camel whores, we will hunt you, we will find you, and we will destroy you, that can be certain." My face was contorted, my eyes squinted and glowing with burning rage. The HPs and her maiden could see my astral form, my true form. Before them sat a wolf, ready to attack and unleash his fury upon all who betrayed him and wronged so many innocents. It was then an there when I knew that the wolf was not my totem, but I WAS the wolf!
After that fateful day I lost all hope for mankind and any hope for the future. I became a wanderer on a dark path. Although I was part of a coven, it didn't really matter. All I had to do to go through the degree system was take a test for 1st degree which I passed and go to an elevation ritual. A year and a day after that I would take my 2nd degree test, pass it and be elevated by the then Maiden of the coven. You see Crystal and her husband came apart and the coven fell into the maiden's hands. I was to become the High Priest and assist in the coven. At this time I was in and out of jobs so I had plenty of time to deal with the coven. I was foolish to try to take on responsibility when I was still trying to get over a major issue, unemployment, but what was I going to do, brood in front of my computer all day? Besides I had taken upon myself to become as powerful as I possibly could be, go through the ranks in the coven and learn true magick power so that I could correct the mistakes of the past and get back what was rightfully mine. Spring, the HPs of the new coven stepped down and before I knew it I was the one in charge. My way of running the coven was at first liaises-faire, do what thou wilt and all that. That attitude would have serious repercussions in the fact that no one would respect me. We were a wild and free coven but rituals were structured. It was all well and good until people wanted more. There were then debates and discussions, but never a full blown witch war. In the end they went with either a vote, or what I decided.
In 2004, I finally landed a permanent gig at Wal-Mart. And at that time work became my biggest priority. I simply could not direct a coven and work and go to school(even if it was online) at the same time. I tried to delegate authority, but then that led to politics. Who's first at being a first as it were. It held together until the day we lost the house that was our coven-stead. We were renting and the landlady sold it. So with no place to go, the coven debated on where to do anything. "I'm closer", "I'm more experienced" yaddah yaddah. It was the beginning of the end.
We moved from Sanford to Eustis FL and met up with a Wiccan 2nd degree who had been trained out west in a Gardenarian coven. I was intrigued by how Wicca was done the "Old School" way and I pretty much found out that my coven was little more than a pack of fluffy bunnies led by a ceremonial magickian. I brought her in and decided she should at least be 1st degree. Well this did not go over well with the rest of the group and a great schism was created. There were attacks on both ends and before I knew it I had a full fledged witch was on my hands. I ended it my way, which effectively meant telling everyone to screw themselves and going home. The coven was over. I gave all the coven stuff to whoever wanted it and washed my hands of the situation. No I was not liked by many people after that fact. But I did not care. I was now free to pursue the real magick I so desperately looked for. I knew that Wicca as it was with this group was not what I wanted. I also discovered what it was I truly am, a quick search on yahoo found the word "Therianthopy". I also learned that the key to the great code of the universe had been under my nose all along in the art of Alchemy. I then decided to pursue the Great Work and declare myself an Alchemist and Hermeticist.
The old coven would eventually pick up the pieces and reform anew like the great Pheonix. "Igne Natura Renovatur Integra", Through Fire is Nature Remade Whole.
This story is still not complete, the last chapter details how I actually discovered the Philosopher's Stone and set things back the way they should be, and the trials and tribulations therein.
Then again, an alchemist's story is never complete...
The year 2000 was a continuation of the joy of 1999. I got to travel and see the Grand Canyon. I went from a solitary to group practitioner by way of an Orlando pagan group. I still thought I had it made. I then made some foolish decisions. I tried to help people again and get involved in things I should have left alone. I became very good at the lesser banishing ritual and thought I could banish any negative force. I thought I could help people by doing ritual cleansings and banishing. I got involved with a couple who were not what they appeared to be. I also got involved in a wiccan group who on the surface seemed okay but had elements of the previous SCA witch was in it. I knew the people involved and thought the war was settled between Bob and this other witch that I didn't even think twice about it, I was over it by this time. Apparently the combination of this witch who was chastised legally by my master and the wrong choices would add up. Everything came to head in March of 2001 when I dared experiment with Chronomancy. That's right kids, uncle Arcanus played with time magick. Believe this to be codswallop if you wish, but I did go through with this magickal experiment, that much is true.
The ritual was simple. Create a circle of charged quartz crystal around me and intone the proper date astrologically. The effect was to be similar to the 'Quantum Leap' effect where I would astrally travel back in time to my past self. Part of this was due to the fact that I believed that the 'voice' and the deja-vu experiences were in fact due to myself doing this particular type of magick in the future. I felt I was magickaly experienced and knowledgeable enough to tackle something of this magnitude. I was wrong.
My equations were perfect. I had everything lined up correctly. The banishing rituals on the elemental and planetary scale were enacted. I even made sure I wrote notes in case there was temporary amnesia. Everything seemed perfect. At the time of the casting, everything was perfect. When I came out of the astral time-votrex everything seemed right, but I felt younger, and a bit confused. There was that amnesia effect I was expecting. I then thought that I may have switched places with my younger self, indeed I had. This was the law of exchange in action. While me age 30 was in the body of me age 16, age 16 me was displaced in my age 30 body. Even after the ritual and we were back where we needed to be, it was incomplete pieces of my 30 year old self were stuck back in 1986 and vice-versa, eventually all would straighten itself out, but not in time. This is where I seriously fraked up magickaly. Work became confusing due to having to retrieve memories. I did not take things a seriously as an adult would have. I am still not sure if this was the cause of me loosing the best job I ever had, nonetheless I did loose it.
After loosing my tech job that paid 35K a year, and the fact that I was only a month away from full vestiture of my 401K really torqued me off. The young kid that was still in me disappeared, and the angry dark wolf came back to the surface. I would stay in my room and not do a damned thing except to call the state and let them know I was still looking for a job so I could collect unemployment. 6 months later I would be contacted by a Wiccan coven.
Sept 2001. I would hook up with the Moon Children of the Earth coven, led by Crystal Moon a 3rd degree wiccan High Priestess who was only a bit younger than me. The first meeting was general an Esbat and get together and everything seemed cool. I really liked this group and I felt at home in this, my first coven. Me and Crystal have the same ideas on teaching, book knowledge types. She knew I was without job and helped me to find one. Then next week happened...
9-11-01
A date that will live in infamy as much as 12-7-41 did before. Those towers falling only enraged me more than seeing the plane crash into them. I could not hold back the shift, the rage was too intense. I had to run to the backyard and howl. I knew this was it, we were going to be at war, I just knew it. This may be Raganarok or whatever you want to call it. The following weekend we went back to the coven-stead to talk about the 9-11 attacks. When it came my turn to share, I freaked out everyone. Last week where there was a happy puppy about to learn new stuff in a group, there now sat a dark and fearsome beast. I was in full shift, and far from happy. "To you sons of camel whores, we will hunt you, we will find you, and we will destroy you, that can be certain." My face was contorted, my eyes squinted and glowing with burning rage. The HPs and her maiden could see my astral form, my true form. Before them sat a wolf, ready to attack and unleash his fury upon all who betrayed him and wronged so many innocents. It was then an there when I knew that the wolf was not my totem, but I WAS the wolf!
After that fateful day I lost all hope for mankind and any hope for the future. I became a wanderer on a dark path. Although I was part of a coven, it didn't really matter. All I had to do to go through the degree system was take a test for 1st degree which I passed and go to an elevation ritual. A year and a day after that I would take my 2nd degree test, pass it and be elevated by the then Maiden of the coven. You see Crystal and her husband came apart and the coven fell into the maiden's hands. I was to become the High Priest and assist in the coven. At this time I was in and out of jobs so I had plenty of time to deal with the coven. I was foolish to try to take on responsibility when I was still trying to get over a major issue, unemployment, but what was I going to do, brood in front of my computer all day? Besides I had taken upon myself to become as powerful as I possibly could be, go through the ranks in the coven and learn true magick power so that I could correct the mistakes of the past and get back what was rightfully mine. Spring, the HPs of the new coven stepped down and before I knew it I was the one in charge. My way of running the coven was at first liaises-faire, do what thou wilt and all that. That attitude would have serious repercussions in the fact that no one would respect me. We were a wild and free coven but rituals were structured. It was all well and good until people wanted more. There were then debates and discussions, but never a full blown witch war. In the end they went with either a vote, or what I decided.
In 2004, I finally landed a permanent gig at Wal-Mart. And at that time work became my biggest priority. I simply could not direct a coven and work and go to school(even if it was online) at the same time. I tried to delegate authority, but then that led to politics. Who's first at being a first as it were. It held together until the day we lost the house that was our coven-stead. We were renting and the landlady sold it. So with no place to go, the coven debated on where to do anything. "I'm closer", "I'm more experienced" yaddah yaddah. It was the beginning of the end.
We moved from Sanford to Eustis FL and met up with a Wiccan 2nd degree who had been trained out west in a Gardenarian coven. I was intrigued by how Wicca was done the "Old School" way and I pretty much found out that my coven was little more than a pack of fluffy bunnies led by a ceremonial magickian. I brought her in and decided she should at least be 1st degree. Well this did not go over well with the rest of the group and a great schism was created. There were attacks on both ends and before I knew it I had a full fledged witch was on my hands. I ended it my way, which effectively meant telling everyone to screw themselves and going home. The coven was over. I gave all the coven stuff to whoever wanted it and washed my hands of the situation. No I was not liked by many people after that fact. But I did not care. I was now free to pursue the real magick I so desperately looked for. I knew that Wicca as it was with this group was not what I wanted. I also discovered what it was I truly am, a quick search on yahoo found the word "Therianthopy". I also learned that the key to the great code of the universe had been under my nose all along in the art of Alchemy. I then decided to pursue the Great Work and declare myself an Alchemist and Hermeticist.
The old coven would eventually pick up the pieces and reform anew like the great Pheonix. "Igne Natura Renovatur Integra", Through Fire is Nature Remade Whole.
This story is still not complete, the last chapter details how I actually discovered the Philosopher's Stone and set things back the way they should be, and the trials and tribulations therein.
Then again, an alchemist's story is never complete...
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